Category: Comedic Prose

Kortney’s Last Show, EP 22: Did Roger Goddell waste you time too?

I watch/listened to that entire Roger Goodell press conference. So I can confirm that, it was the complete waste of time that I thought it would be. Roger Goodell was droning and uninspiring. I haven’t seen a cheaper empty suit since I last shopped at Burlington Coat Factory. However, there was one thing worth seeing .…
Read more

Ray Rice video released, and Ray Rice released

So the video of Baltimore Ravens running back Ray Rice was released by TMZ Sports. Click here to view the video. I don’t have much to say about the actual video. I think it’s extremely disturbing, and I don’t even know how Rice can look himself in the mirror. Outside of that, the only thing…
Read more

Kortney’s Last Show, EP 20: 2014 Cleveland Browns Preview

So I decided to record a podcast of my 2014 Cleveland Browns preview. I needed to amend some things I said. Mainly that the Browns would make the playoffs (spoiler alert). I recorded this pre Josh Gordon banishment. Also I need to squeeze off a podcast. It’s been too long, or as Timbaland would say,…
Read more

NFL may make me lose respect for Coldplay

It’s rumored that the NFL has selected their group of finalists to perform at the Super Bowl halftime show. Among the finalists to perform is Coldplay (there are also some other people in the group of finalist, but they’re not worth mentioning. The most they can get is a footnote here1). Which on the surface…
Read more

Will Tiger Woods’ hard head makes a soft a**

“A hard head makes a soft ass” I grew up knowing what that expression meant before I had the ability to form a clear thought. That’s probably why I’ve never been arrested, because somewhere in the back of my mind I can hear my dad saying that on a loop. Apparently Tiger Woods was raised…
Read more

Who are Josh Gordon’s friends?

So Josh Gordon of the Cleveland Browns has tested positive for marijuana. Consequently he could be facing a season long suspension. Now he has appealed the decision on the ground that he was not actually smoking. Rather he was in a hot boxing situation and his positive test was caused by second hand smoke. It…
Read more

Steve Ballmer and Donald Sterling talked about…

So the former racist owner of the Los Angeles Clippers (Donald Sterling), and the maybe/kinda sorta/soon to be owner of the Clippers (Steve Ballmer) had a “friendly conversation.” What the hell could they have possibly talked about friendly? One guy is trying to take the other guys stuff. And the guy who’s getting his stuff…
Read more

Kortney’s Last Show, EP 19: LeBron James returns to Cleveland rant

Dan Le Batard of the Miami Herald and The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz. Does Miami centric rants whenever something great happens for Miami sports. With LeBron James returning to the Cleveland Cavaliers. I though it was only right that I do a rant for the city of Cleveland. Especially since the Cleveland rants that…
Read more

Kortney’s Last Show, EP 18: LeBron Back to Cleveland, a More Interesting Eastern Conference

LeBron James is back in Cleveland. So the whole LeBron watch is over. I glad it’s come to an end, but at the same time the Twitter experience was great. I’ll miss searching Twitter for clues. Trying to figure out if Dan Gilbert was on a plane or what the color pallet was going to…
Read more

“Please LeBron James we have to get some sleep”

I think I speak for everyone when I say, “LeBron just make a decision. I don’t care where you play just announce something. Say Cleveland, say Miami, say you’re going to take the year off and play baseball. Maybe you end up liking Brazil when you go there for the World Cup. I’m sure that…
Read more