Month: March 2012

Comedian #BARS

Seattle Mariners 2012 opening day diary, at 3AM

Sports make people do crazy things.  Whether it’s the Little League father who feels the need to beat up a Little League umpire for calling a third strike on their six year-old son, or Bud Selig deciding to start the 2012 Major League Baseball season in Tokyo, Japan in the middle of spring training, sport…
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Sean Payton, New Orleans Saints Original Gangster

Just when you thought Sean Payton of the New Orleans Saints was remorseful about the bounty scandal. He pulls out his gangster. I was never under the assumption that the Saints were sorry for the bounty scandal. How could you be sorry when you cover up a scandal for years, and then lie when questioned…
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Jared Sullinger and The Ohio State Buckeyes win with their flaws

Saturday night Jared Sullinger led The Ohio State Buckeyes back to the Final Four. That’s right the Bucks with all their flaws are going to the big dance after knocking off Jim Boeheim and the Syracuse Orange men. Many people have already tried to diminish their accomplishment because Fab Melo was ruled academically ineligible for…
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Is Pittsburgh Steelers’ Hines Ward a Hall of Famer?

Now that Hines Ward of the Pittsburgh Steelers has retired. It’s only right that we evaluate his career in a vicious fashion (5-year-old girl beauty pageant style). You know how it is. When somebody retires we don’t have time to wait and reflect. You have to ravage them immediately like a woman 3 drinks in…
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Is Matt Flynn the Seattle Seahawks’ Savior?

If you’re wondering why Seattle Seahawks fans are so excited about the signing of Matt Flynn, pay very close attention. Jim Zorn, Steve Myer, Dave Krieg, Jeff Kemp, Kelly Stouffer, Stan Gelbaugh, Dan McGwire, Rick Mirer, John Freisz, Warren Moon, John Kitna, Glenn Foley, Matt Hasselbeck, Trent Dilfer, Seneca Wallace, Charlie Frye, Charlie Whitehurst, and…
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Peyton Manning and the San Francisco 49ers should get it over already

It looks like the San Francisco 49ers have emerged as a serious contender for the services of Peyton Manning. Along with the Tennessee Titans, the Denver Broncos, and probably a mystery team that’s dumb enough to think they still have a shot. Your guess is as good as mine when it comes to where Peyton Manning…
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Will Peyton Manning join John Elway in the Denver Broncos’ pantheon?

Peyton Manning has narrowed his list of potential teams down to two:  The Denver Broncos and the Tennessee Titans.  Before I continue writing, I feel obligated to tell all of you that Peyton Manning’s career is over.  A week from now he will be 36 years-old, with three neck surgeries in an eight-month span, and by…
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Dwight Howard’s indecision with the Orlando Magic does not compare to the decision

Dwight Howard of the Orlando Magic is not LeBron James. Not even close. Has everyone already forgotten the magnitude of the decision? Dwight Howard’s cat and mouse game with the Orlando Magic has baffled us all but it doesn’t come close to reaching the 9.0 on the Richter scale that LeBron’s decision did. LeBron James shook…
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Is Dwight Howard really doing this to himself?

The Dwight Howard and Orlando Magic situation is getting out of control. By out of control I mean this situation is making my head hurt. I’m actually nauseous. I think I threw up in my mouth last night. I don’t understand what the Magic organization is trying to accomplish. I understand that they don’t want…
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Jeremy Lin and New York Knicks, “Is there any Linsanity left for that guy?”

Jeremy Lin and the New York Knicks seemed to have come back to earth. By back to earth I mean, the same selfish team they were before Jeremy Lin lit up New York City for a week. You can blame it Carmelo Anthony or the schedule, but it doesn’t change what they are. With that…
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