Normally I would start this piece by verbally dapping up Alex Smith for a great will last week. However, I dedicated an entire post to him after he went Remember the Titans on the New Orleans Saints. So it’s not time for a retrospective on what the San Francisco did to New Orleans. “I’m not here to talk about the past (Mark McGwire style).” I rather take this time to conduct a proper burial for the Green Bay Packers.
Green Bay Packers’ Eulogy: “What Had Happen Was”
We stand here today overlooking the carcass of the Green Bay Packers – Oh there’s a fumble – and we are all asking ourselves. Why doesn’t Tom Coughlin wear a scarf over his face during January in Green Bay? Does he have something against looking human? Is he going for the Baboon ass look? His face looks like something in the bottom of my grandmother’s freezer (she doesn’t through anything away. I wouldn’t be shocked if there’s a dead gangster from the 40s in there). However I digress. The Green Bay Packers were the best team this year yet they have nothing to show for it. Many thought it was a virtual lock for them to get back the super bowl, and when you look at the fact they brought back a great team that was healthier than last year. It would be hard to argue against that. Maybe next year they’ll be luckier.
The New York Giants are in the NFC Championship, just one game away from the Super Bowl and immortality for Eli Manning. Now before I continue praising the Giants and send New York fans into an orgasm allow me to say, the Packers are still a better team. You can call me contrarian, but I don’t believe because you squeak into the playoffs at 9 – 7, and then beat a team that was 15 – 1. That that means you’re somehow the better team (Please see the 2007 Patriots whose season was doomed oddly enough by the New York Giants #thenflplayoffsaresomewhatrandom). With that being said the Giants won the opportunity to continue in playoffs. So all you unbearable New York fans feel free to refocus and finish your orgasm.
The NFC Championship
So the San Francisco 49ers and the New York Giants will play for the right to go to the super bowl. Wow! These are the two teams that I believed were among the least likely to go to the super bowl. This is evidence by my picks. However, I can’t be held responsible for those. It’d just a fun thing I throw out there. It’s surely entertainment. I do it for the kids (trick daddy style). Now allow me to predict the NFC Champion.
Both of these teams are good on defense. It’s tough to decide between them, but if I had to, I would give the 49ers the edge. I just like the way their secondary plays. Their defense will cause major problems for the Giants offense. Whereas the Giants defense relies on their front-four to be successful, and if San Francisco’s O-line plays well, they will win this game.
The Giants are clearly the more dynamic team on offense. The have a better set of wide receiver and the best quarterback. On the other end the 49ers are a tougher offense. With Frank Gore they have the ability to pound the ball, while controlling the clock.
This reminds me of a great boxing fight that could become unwatchable. Styles make fights and these fighters are similar to a Hyena and Cheetah. If the Giants impose their will this will be a high scoring bought with plenty of haymakers. If the 49ers get the upper hand, this will go to the late rounds and be decided in the fourth quarter. If either of these teams win I wouldn’t be shocked.
I’m picking the New York Giants to go to the super bowl, because I don’t think Alex Smith can do it again. Now watch Jimmy Chitwood be special again.
Giants win, 31 – 18
Editor-in-Chief of Comedic Prose