Sports make people do crazy things. Whether it’s the Little League father who feels the need to beat up a Little League umpire for calling a third strike on their six year-old son, or Bud Selig deciding to start the 2012 Major League Baseball season in Tokyo, Japan in the middle of spring training, sport…
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If you’re wondering why Seattle Seahawks fans are so excited about the signing of Matt Flynn, pay very close attention. Jim Zorn, Steve Myer, Dave Krieg, Jeff Kemp, Kelly Stouffer, Stan Gelbaugh, Dan McGwire, Rick Mirer, John Freisz, Warren Moon, John Kitna, Glenn Foley, Matt Hasselbeck, Trent Dilfer, Seneca Wallace, Charlie Frye, Charlie Whitehurst, and…
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Peyton Manning has narrowed his list of potential teams down to two: The Denver Broncos and the Tennessee Titans. Before I continue writing, I feel obligated to tell all of you that Peyton Manning’s career is over. A week from now he will be 36 years-old, with three neck surgeries in an eight-month span, and by…
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The NFL season is less than a week away from being over, and now I’m faced with the same predicament I face every single February … the “what now?” predicament. I am fully aware that other sports exist; the NBA is in full swing, March Madness is right around the corner, and hockey is, um,…
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The singer Prince once changed his name, and now the baseball player Prince has officially changed his team. The difference is the singer amassed a large fortune before changing. The baseball player will amass his after. Prince Fielder’s new team – the Detroit Tigers – signed him to a contract reportedly worth 214 million dollars over the next nine seasons. That number is big…
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After nearly an entire NFL season that came close to not happening in the first place, we have just four teams remaining with a chance to win it all. The winners of this Sunday’s games will face off in Super Bowl XXVILMNOP or whatever number they’re on. And no matter what happens, neither team will be the Saints or…
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The Seattle Mariners recently traded their young, healthy, all-star starting pitcher Michael Pineda to the New York Yankees. I heard general manager Jack Zduriencik wanted to trade for a player named “Tebow”, but after realizing no major league baseball player has that name, he had to settle for a guy named Jesus. Jesus Montero, a filled-with-potential…
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If you remember back to last week’s column, I did you all the favor of giving you my gambling picks for the wild-card round of the NFL playoffs. But, in all actuality, I hope you DON’T remember back to last week’s column . I went 2-6 on last week’s picks, including an embarrassingly pathetic 0-4 on the Sunday games and 0-4…
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This is the first week of comedicprose.com, and it’s also the first week of the NFL’s 2011 postseason. As a thank you for reading this piece, I’m going to give you the winning bets for all four playoff games. Honestly, I’m just doing what every sportswriter does: I’m going to state my opinion as…
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On Christmas morning of this year, I reluctantly agreed to go with a friend to Sunday church. I have nothing against church, it’s just never been my “thing”. I wouldn’t go so far as to say I’m anti-church, but I am anti-not-watching-NFL-football. As hesitant as I was, I agreed because it was a good friend.…
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