I went to see Kanye West, in Seattle, at his first stop on the Yeezus tour.
Note self: Don’t ever, ever ever ever ever, be the first stop on a tour again.
My Yeezus experience started off late. And by late I mean, the show was supposed to start at 8 o’ clock and the doors didn’t open until 8:30. Kendrick Lamar hit the stage at 10 0′ clock, and Kanye came out at 11:30. The show finally ended at 1:30 am, with me tired and confused. I actually wanted to write about this concert the day after the show, but I couldn’t stay awake. The only way I would have been able to write that night, is if that guy from A Clockwork Orange came to my house, and put clothes pins on my eye lids.
The whole Yeezus experience was confusing, creative, and entertaining. It was basically the personification of what Kanye West is. So many things happen, and I will do my best to remember most of them.
Let’s start with the stage:
Most artist have a normal stage that can hold a band, backup singers, and technical equipment. Not Kanye West! My man had a huge stage, broken up into two large segments that were about the size of a small city block. The stage was erected into the shape of a mountain. It reminded me of the Aggro Crag, that was the star of Global Guts (if you don’t get that reference, you ain’t bout that life). You would think with a stage that size, you could fit everything on it. However, the band and backup singers were on the floor, and I still don’t know where the technical equipment was. The front of the stage was actually equipped with hydraulics, and it lifted up the front of the stage, half way through the show. At that point I was baffled, and I thought, “Why couldn’t the Aggro Crag do that? Nickelodeon had to have the money.”
He wore a bejeweled mask:
He wore a bejeweled mask for about two thirds of the show.
Eventually he took it off, but not until Jesus came out. Yeah, Jesus was there, but we will get to that later.
Yes there were naked dancers:
So the show didn’t start with Kanye West walking out. Oh no! You can’t name your album Yeezus, and just walk out on stage. You have to have an entrance. And there was an entrance.
About a half dozen women dressed like angels entered the stage from an undisclosed location while a voice over was playing. I couldn’t hear what the voice was saying, because the Key Arena has the acoustics of shoe box in an airplane bathroom. So I just sat there wonder when these women were wearing bras under their body suits.
These women were reoccurring charters throughout the show. They reappeared in different outfits. At one time they came out dressed as some kind of wild dog. I would say it was a regular dog. However it was way too large and its eyes were glowing.
Their most unique outfit was when they came out wearing no clothes. And by no clothes I mean t-backs and body paint. Which may sound sexy, but not in this case. These women weren’t Make it Rain, King of Diamonds naked. They were National Geographic, oh no I’m only 12 and this is the first pair of breast I’ve ever seen naked. Which made me think, “Why couldn’t nickelodeon higher these women?”
Oh yeah, “A Jesus was There”
I don’t even know how to discuss the guy that was dressed up like Jesus. I would like to say he came out in some kind of West African garb with a Chinese accent, but that’s not the case. He actually looked like Jesus…at least that’s what the jackass in front of me said. Personally I just think it was “a” Jesus. However I didn’t want to say that out loud, because I didn’t want to break that jackass’ heart. She seemed really sold on the idea that she saw Jesus that night, and who am I to tell her, “Hey that’s the guy that delivers my mail.”
After I had time to digest the show, my opinion of the Yeezus concert is even more concrete. It was great.
With the luxury of hindsight, I wish I would have known about the format of the concert. Because I would have been prepared. In all honesty it’s not really a concert. It’s more of a play. I really good play.
Editor-in-Chief of Comedic Prose
Follow Kortney Williams on Twitter @kortneyshane