Cleveland Indians’ Chris Perez ?#$&…nuff said


If you’re a Cleveland Indians fan, or someone that’s simply a fan of competent baseball. Do you trust Chris Perez?

It may seem like a complex question on the surface, but if you’ve been paying attention. There is only one correct answer, “Hell No!”

If you struggled with the previous question. I want to know what drugs you’re taking, and if Lindsay Lohan can get some.

Perez has been flat out awful. Anytime I see him in uniform I get nervous – And I’m not talking about, “I have to make a big public speech nervous.” I’m talking about, “I have to take a dump, and I’m in a hurry. So I’m going to illegally drive in the carpool lane…Oh no I just got pulled over by the cops, nervous.”

Chris Perez has been horrible this year. Not only has be blown enough games to personally keep the Indians out of the playoff, but he also had that weird marijuana thing, that he ended up missing games for. However, his missed games were disguised, as a DL stint. A DL stint that was proceeded by him stinking up the joint.

Now Perez is stinking up the joint again, which means a covenant story is sure to surface soon. I just hope that happens after the season is over.

Kortney Shane Williams

Editor-in-Chief of Comedic Prose

Follow Kortney Williams on Twitter @kortneyshane

About the author: kortneywilliams

Kortney Shane Williams is an international touring comedian who honed his skills for 10 years in Seattle Washington. He's opened for Dave Chappelle, Hannibal Buress, David Alan Grier, and has appeared on Laughs TV on Fox, Comedy Time at the Icehouse, and The 206 on NBC. His writing he has been featured on Yahoo and Fox Sports. Kortney's new album, To Whom It Doesn't Concern, is available now. He can also be heard weekly on his podcast, Kortney's Last Show Podcast, which is available on iTunes. Get More from Kortney at:

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