This season of the Jersey Shore sucks (whew now that I got that out of my system)!
I told myself that I was done with the Jersey Shore after this season. I kept that proclamation to myself. However the latex gods that be, must have been of the same opinion. The gods of latex have powers far greater than mine. I can only wish failure and hate from afar. The latex gods have the ability to alter your life with a slight manufacture defect. And they came through in a big way by dropping an 18 year liability in Snooki‘s pouch (Maury Povich style).
Now that Snooki is pregnant that probably spells the end of the Jersey Shore, and that’s a great thing. When this show started it was all about drinking and getting it in. Now it’s about middle age people sharing a frat house that the size of a tuna fish can. I’m tired of watching Deena dress sexy as I throw up ever so slightly in my mouth. The best thing going for the show was Snooki’s ability to down tequila shots like a sorority girl being hazed. Now that she pregnant I think it hampers her ability to perform, and brings the show to miserable end. I actually want to personally thank the latex gods, because even though I was dead set on not watching another season. I would have probably gotten weaken by MTV previews. MTV would have put together some tantalizing preview of The Situation falling off a balcony, or Single Ronnie sliding down a DNA encrusted stripper pole. Me turning away from that kind of temptation, is about as likely as a Heroin addict throwing away a perfect good spoon. So I’m glad the decision was made for me.
I do still like the idea of the show. Hopefully they get a new, younger cast with healthy livers. In the meantime I will focus on the Real World Challenge, while I send reality show ideas to the soon to be mother.
Editor-in-Chief of Comedic Prose
Follow Kortney Williams on Twitter @kortneyshane